


He's Just a Boy, and He's on Fire

by DoreyG



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU
Genre: Community: comment_fic, Crack, Dick/Cereal OTP, Epistolary, Fire, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 06:06:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3925681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoreyG/pseuds/DoreyG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>08:30: Grayson, why is there a burnt cereal box in the middle of the kitchen?</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's Just a Boy, and He's on Fire

08:30: Grayson, why is there a burnt cereal box in the middle of the kitchen?

08:34: Grayson?

_08:35: don’t worry about it, it’d take too long to explain. there was a fire, nobody was hurt, the only casualty was my box of cereal_

08:36: What?

_08:36: i said don’t worry about it_

08:38: Are you alright? Is the Mansion alright? Are Titus and the others alright? Is everything fully contained? What /happened/?

_08:39: dami, relax. i’m fine, the mansion is fine, the animals are all cool. i told you, it was literally just my cereal._

_08:39: were you worried?_

08:39: Shut up.

08:39: What /happened/?

_08:40: i told you, long story._

08:40: Grayson.

_08:40: damian_

08:40: …I’ll tell father.

_08:41: hah, nice try. you know bruce never goes in the kitchen. not since he almost burnt the whole place down trying to make TOAST_

08:41: Fine.

08:42: I’ll just have to tell Alfred, then.

_08:42: you wouldn’t_

08:42: /Honestly/, Grayson.

_08:43: fine_

_08:44: i was out all night, patrolling, and it was easier to come back to the mansion than my apartment_

08:44: I am honestly not sure how that is possible, but go on.

_08:44: you want me to text a paint map?_

08:45: Go /on/, Grayson.

_08:45: k_

_08:47: i was hungry, so instead of just crashing on the couch or trying to find you i went to the kitchen first. i know you – and don’t try to pretend it’s alfred – keep an extra box of cereal there for me and i thought it’d be tasty at that time_

08:47: You always think that cereal is tasty, Grayson.

08:48: …And I don’t know what you’re talking about. It really is Alfred that leaves the box there, doting old fool that he is, and to think otherwise is sheer lunacy. Have you banged your head again?

_08:49: k_

08:50: …So then what happened?

_08:51: i found the cereal, where ALFRED usually leaves it, and was about to happily eat. i even had the spoon all ready and stuff!_

_08:51: but_

08:51: But?

_08:52: i’m gonna need you to keep in mind that i was tired_

08:52: Grayson.

_08:52: and slightly injured_

08:52: /Grayson/.

_08:53: and hungry. you know what i get like when i’m hungry, remember that one time i started gnawing on you?_

08:53: GRAYSON

_08:54: and then i decided that i needed milk, but that the milk that we had was too cold_

_08:56: …dami?_

_08:59: …dami, srsly, RU ok?_

09:00: What did you put the milk in, Grayson?

_9:01: i THOUGHT it was the kettle_

09:01: Was it?

_09:02: i was sleep deprived, and hungry_

09:02: /Was/ it?

_09:02: no._

_09:04: …it may have been the toaster_

09:05: You put milk in the toaster.

_09:05: hungry!_

_09:05: …and sleep deprived_

09:05: You put milk. In the toaster.

_09:07: …at least only the cereal was burnt?_

09:07: True.

09:08: You’re telling Alfred why he needs a new toaster, you understand.

_09:09: …k._

09:09: And you’re also buying your own cereal from this point on.

_09:10: K._

09:11: Try to look on the bright side, Grayson, at least you haven’t been banned from the kitchen and all related areas!

09:12: …Yet.


End file.
